My entire family remembers our prayers before dinner every single night growing up in Lakewood, Ohio. We would say "Grace" and then say a prayer for the entire Hayes family "especially Uncle Dennis". For years, the meal was not started until the words "especially Uncle Dennis" were uttered.
My Uncle Dennis went to Vietnam in the late 60's. He was the only person in our family to fight in that war. I am told that he volunteered to go. He had been working as a teacher after graduating from Ohio University. Eventually he gave in to the pressure of the draft and just decided that it was his time to go. He did a one year tour in Vietnam as a soldier in the U.S. Army. Our family knows very little about what happened during that year. Uncle Dennis was not one to talk about his experiences in Vietnam. Can you blame him? However, it is fair to say that the war affected his life profoundly.
My Uncle Dennis was a worldly man. He literally travelled the world. After Vietnam, there was a time when he lived in Canada. He eventually settled in San Francisico and lived there for many years. He was there during my childhood years. Neither my siblings or myself knew him at all except in pictures. My Dad and the rest of his brothers were definitely worried about him which led to the "especially Uncle Dennis" prayer. Uncle Dennis got married to my Aunt Elizabeth and eventually they moved to Chicago. They worked very hard there as travel agents. Some of my family got to know him better during that time. Uncle Dennis became a much more active part of our family in the late 80's and 90's. He was a fun person to be around and always loved a party. He cared about his nieces and nephews a great deal. He was a character just like many in the Hayes Family.
It was not until 2007 when I really came to know Uncle Dennis. He was searching for a place to spend his retirement years. His travels brought him to Charleston, South Carolina. I had been transferred to Charleston Air Force Base in the summer of 2007. I did not know many people there, so it was great to have a family member in town. Uncle Dennis was drawn to the charm of Charleston. He decided to stay a while to see if this was the right place for him.. He rented a condo about a mile down the road from me. A few weeks turned into a few months and so forth. We spent a lot of time together that fall and winter. It was really fun getting to know him. We attended Charleston Riverdogs baseball games, watched our hometown Cleveland Indians play in the playoffs, and even went to a South Carolina Gamecock football game. (where I will soon train in sports medicine) We discussed all sorts of things like politics, relationships, sports, our family, etc. Uncle Dennis was a fun person to be around (most of the time!). I will never forget when he did the "polar plunge" into the Atlantic Ocean on January 1st. It was charity event held every year in Charleston. He came running out the water and said, "That was exhilarating!"
In early January of 2008, I received the news that I would be deploying to Afghanistan. All I knew for weeks was that I was going along with a U.S. Army unit, and it was going to be somewhere deep in Afghanistan. This was a very uncertain time for me as I prepared to leave. I filled out a will knowing that the unthinkable could actually happen to me. During this time, Uncle Dennis and I talked a lot. His message to me was that I was not going as a soldier, rather I was going as a healer. He said, "The soldiers need you." That phrase hit me hard. I remembered that countless times during my two tours in Afghanistan. I would think to myself "the soldiers need you" when the times got tough which was frequent.
In February of 2011 Uncle Dennis told us all that he was battling liver cancer. He shocked us by telling us that he had returned in 1969 from Vietnam with the Hepatitis C Virus. This was surely the main causative agent of his cancer. He was near death by the time we all got to see him. I remember vaguely that Uncle Dennis had told me that he wanted to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery. Now we were all talking about when this might happen.
On May 31st, 2011 a great group of Dennis' friends as well as the Hayes Family arrived at Arlington for his ceremony. We all were led out to the columbarium (a group of buildings that stores the ashes in compartments). We gathered together around the urn filled with Uncle Dennis' ashes. It was surrounded by 7 members of the Honor Guard in impeccable uniforms. The army chaplain said a few words about Sergeant Dennis Albert Hayes and his service in Vietnam. The Honor Guard members were holding a large flag. They folded it into a triangle in a precise and deliberate fashion. It was passed down the line. Then, it was presented to Aunt Elizabeth. In the distance on a hilltop a group of soldiers rang out 3 shots. When it became quiet again, a soldier to our left played TAPS on his bugle. We all then walked over to the columbarium. The army chaplain led us in several prayers. Aunt Elizabeth then placed the urn into the compartment. We all walked past and paid our last respects. It was a simple but incredibly powerful ceremony.
Sergeant Dennis Hayes served one tour in Vietnam. This was more than enough. It was certainly life changing. He lamented most if not all of his time there. Nevertheless, he chose to be laid to rest in our nation's most hallowed ground. My Uncle Dennis served our nation. No matter what the circumstances of our service entails, there is a certain feeling that all veterans seem to have. We feel a certain pride knowing that we spent time wearing our nation's uniform. And, in the end our pride runs deep.
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