My eventful time in the Air Force has come to an end. This past Friday was my last working day. I went to my "final out" and had my military identification literally confiscated. The Air Force paid for my medical education. In turn I served 7 years on active duty. Both sides have held up the bargain and then some! It was strange to take the uniform off for the last time. In fact, I did not peel off my "airmen battle uniform" until about 8:30 at night. It just did not seem right. But, all things in this world come to an end. I take away many things from my military career. As I relect upon it all, several concepts stick out to me as the most important.
First, "Leaving It Better" is something that I will strive to do in the future. I arrived at Offutt Air Force Base in June of 2004 for my first assignment. There were 8 of us family medicine interns. Our mission was to train for 3 years to become board certified family doctors. Our training took us from the hospital at Offutt to the massive University of Nebraska Medical Center to community hospitals in Omaha and even to rural Nebraska. We received excellent training. My "classmates" and I decided early on that we wanted to have a positive impact on the program. There was a lot of negativity surrounding us. We wanted to rise above that. It was a stressful 3 years there. As a class, we grew closer as we made it through all the challenges of learning how to be a real doctor. We all grew to love Nebraska. I actually enjoyed my residency training due in large part to the excellent people I met there. In our last year, myself and my good friend Brent Barnstuble were elected "chief residents" of the entire training program. We worked hard to improve things for everyone. It was an honor to serve in this capacity. At graduation, we presented several gifts to the staff at both Offut Air Force Base and the University of Nebraska to remember us. These pictures now hang on the walls at both of those facilities. I truly believe in my heart that we were the best class that program had seen in many years. We left it a better place.
Second, I have seen clearly that building relationships in life is incredibly important. In the military, we meet so many people along the way. People come into your life for periods of time and then are gone in a flash it seems. This is even more obvious with the military lifestyle involving deployments and frequent moves. I think my deployments demonstarte this more than anything. On my 2008 deployment, I met Dr. Yama Musleh of the Afghan National Army. I have written about him before. We became close friends in the middle of a combat zone. We worked side by side trying to build up the Afghan National Army. This was and is still today a critically important mission. When I left for home on 31 October 2008, it was hard to say bye because I knew that it probably was the last time I would see Yama. But, that was not the case as we had an amazing reunion this spring. (see my previous entry "Some Bonds Are Never Broken") On my 2010 deployment to Afghanistan, Dr. Mike Greene was my wingman. I have also written about him, too. We worked harder than we ever will in our lives for six months. We saw the worst injuries imaginable day in and day out. Our time at the Bagram hospital was intense. We leaned on one another every day. On 3 July 2010, we parted ways at the airport in Baltimore after our journey back from the war. Mike went back to his life in Japan and I returned to Charleston. We have not had much contact since then. That is okay. Eventually our paths will cross again and we will have much to talk about for sure!
Third, I have learned just how important it is to make memories. In the military, the only constant is change. We are asked to adapt, innovate, and overcome all the time. We are asked to do things that we never thought possible. Those that make a career out of the military move their lives from base to base on a regular basis. The good people that we meet along the way often fade away. It is inevitable. But, good memories can last a lifetime. My time in Charleston from 2007 to 2011 has been very memorable. I had never lived anywhere outside of the midwest. I'll never forget getting out of the car for the first time in Charleston on 9 July 2007 and feeling the stifling heat of the south. However, it did not take long to discover all the fabulous things here. The history here is so interesting. The landscape is so unique. The water is beautiful. In a nutshell, Charleston is a great place to live. I will not soon forget running on the beach with my running group, kayaking on Shem Creek, or the carriage tours through the historic district. I will not soon forget all the good times in Mount Pleasant (suburb of Charleston). They don't call it Mount Perfect for nothing! I will not soon forget all the laughs at parties and all the fun in the sun. I will miss Charleston, but the memories will live on and on.
My blog "Life After Afghanistan" has been a way for me to make sense of life back here in the states after 2 deployments. It has been a way to think about all my military experiences. I move forward with many lessons learned since 22 May 2000 when I raised my right hand and swore to "defend the constitution against all enemies". I hope that my next career is as meaningful. And, I think it will be as long as I remember to leave it better, build relationships, and make memories!!!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Lesson #6 - Our Pride Runs Deep
My entire family remembers our prayers before dinner every single night growing up in Lakewood, Ohio. We would say "Grace" and then say a prayer for the entire Hayes family "especially Uncle Dennis". For years, the meal was not started until the words "especially Uncle Dennis" were uttered.
My Uncle Dennis went to Vietnam in the late 60's. He was the only person in our family to fight in that war. I am told that he volunteered to go. He had been working as a teacher after graduating from Ohio University. Eventually he gave in to the pressure of the draft and just decided that it was his time to go. He did a one year tour in Vietnam as a soldier in the U.S. Army. Our family knows very little about what happened during that year. Uncle Dennis was not one to talk about his experiences in Vietnam. Can you blame him? However, it is fair to say that the war affected his life profoundly.
My Uncle Dennis was a worldly man. He literally travelled the world. After Vietnam, there was a time when he lived in Canada. He eventually settled in San Francisico and lived there for many years. He was there during my childhood years. Neither my siblings or myself knew him at all except in pictures. My Dad and the rest of his brothers were definitely worried about him which led to the "especially Uncle Dennis" prayer. Uncle Dennis got married to my Aunt Elizabeth and eventually they moved to Chicago. They worked very hard there as travel agents. Some of my family got to know him better during that time. Uncle Dennis became a much more active part of our family in the late 80's and 90's. He was a fun person to be around and always loved a party. He cared about his nieces and nephews a great deal. He was a character just like many in the Hayes Family.
It was not until 2007 when I really came to know Uncle Dennis. He was searching for a place to spend his retirement years. His travels brought him to Charleston, South Carolina. I had been transferred to Charleston Air Force Base in the summer of 2007. I did not know many people there, so it was great to have a family member in town. Uncle Dennis was drawn to the charm of Charleston. He decided to stay a while to see if this was the right place for him.. He rented a condo about a mile down the road from me. A few weeks turned into a few months and so forth. We spent a lot of time together that fall and winter. It was really fun getting to know him. We attended Charleston Riverdogs baseball games, watched our hometown Cleveland Indians play in the playoffs, and even went to a South Carolina Gamecock football game. (where I will soon train in sports medicine) We discussed all sorts of things like politics, relationships, sports, our family, etc. Uncle Dennis was a fun person to be around (most of the time!). I will never forget when he did the "polar plunge" into the Atlantic Ocean on January 1st. It was charity event held every year in Charleston. He came running out the water and said, "That was exhilarating!"
In early January of 2008, I received the news that I would be deploying to Afghanistan. All I knew for weeks was that I was going along with a U.S. Army unit, and it was going to be somewhere deep in Afghanistan. This was a very uncertain time for me as I prepared to leave. I filled out a will knowing that the unthinkable could actually happen to me. During this time, Uncle Dennis and I talked a lot. His message to me was that I was not going as a soldier, rather I was going as a healer. He said, "The soldiers need you." That phrase hit me hard. I remembered that countless times during my two tours in Afghanistan. I would think to myself "the soldiers need you" when the times got tough which was frequent.
In February of 2011 Uncle Dennis told us all that he was battling liver cancer. He shocked us by telling us that he had returned in 1969 from Vietnam with the Hepatitis C Virus. This was surely the main causative agent of his cancer. He was near death by the time we all got to see him. I remember vaguely that Uncle Dennis had told me that he wanted to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery. Now we were all talking about when this might happen.
On May 31st, 2011 a great group of Dennis' friends as well as the Hayes Family arrived at Arlington for his ceremony. We all were led out to the columbarium (a group of buildings that stores the ashes in compartments). We gathered together around the urn filled with Uncle Dennis' ashes. It was surrounded by 7 members of the Honor Guard in impeccable uniforms. The army chaplain said a few words about Sergeant Dennis Albert Hayes and his service in Vietnam. The Honor Guard members were holding a large flag. They folded it into a triangle in a precise and deliberate fashion. It was passed down the line. Then, it was presented to Aunt Elizabeth. In the distance on a hilltop a group of soldiers rang out 3 shots. When it became quiet again, a soldier to our left played TAPS on his bugle. We all then walked over to the columbarium. The army chaplain led us in several prayers. Aunt Elizabeth then placed the urn into the compartment. We all walked past and paid our last respects. It was a simple but incredibly powerful ceremony.
Sergeant Dennis Hayes served one tour in Vietnam. This was more than enough. It was certainly life changing. He lamented most if not all of his time there. Nevertheless, he chose to be laid to rest in our nation's most hallowed ground. My Uncle Dennis served our nation. No matter what the circumstances of our service entails, there is a certain feeling that all veterans seem to have. We feel a certain pride knowing that we spent time wearing our nation's uniform. And, in the end our pride runs deep.
My Uncle Dennis went to Vietnam in the late 60's. He was the only person in our family to fight in that war. I am told that he volunteered to go. He had been working as a teacher after graduating from Ohio University. Eventually he gave in to the pressure of the draft and just decided that it was his time to go. He did a one year tour in Vietnam as a soldier in the U.S. Army. Our family knows very little about what happened during that year. Uncle Dennis was not one to talk about his experiences in Vietnam. Can you blame him? However, it is fair to say that the war affected his life profoundly.
My Uncle Dennis was a worldly man. He literally travelled the world. After Vietnam, there was a time when he lived in Canada. He eventually settled in San Francisico and lived there for many years. He was there during my childhood years. Neither my siblings or myself knew him at all except in pictures. My Dad and the rest of his brothers were definitely worried about him which led to the "especially Uncle Dennis" prayer. Uncle Dennis got married to my Aunt Elizabeth and eventually they moved to Chicago. They worked very hard there as travel agents. Some of my family got to know him better during that time. Uncle Dennis became a much more active part of our family in the late 80's and 90's. He was a fun person to be around and always loved a party. He cared about his nieces and nephews a great deal. He was a character just like many in the Hayes Family.
It was not until 2007 when I really came to know Uncle Dennis. He was searching for a place to spend his retirement years. His travels brought him to Charleston, South Carolina. I had been transferred to Charleston Air Force Base in the summer of 2007. I did not know many people there, so it was great to have a family member in town. Uncle Dennis was drawn to the charm of Charleston. He decided to stay a while to see if this was the right place for him.. He rented a condo about a mile down the road from me. A few weeks turned into a few months and so forth. We spent a lot of time together that fall and winter. It was really fun getting to know him. We attended Charleston Riverdogs baseball games, watched our hometown Cleveland Indians play in the playoffs, and even went to a South Carolina Gamecock football game. (where I will soon train in sports medicine) We discussed all sorts of things like politics, relationships, sports, our family, etc. Uncle Dennis was a fun person to be around (most of the time!). I will never forget when he did the "polar plunge" into the Atlantic Ocean on January 1st. It was charity event held every year in Charleston. He came running out the water and said, "That was exhilarating!"
In early January of 2008, I received the news that I would be deploying to Afghanistan. All I knew for weeks was that I was going along with a U.S. Army unit, and it was going to be somewhere deep in Afghanistan. This was a very uncertain time for me as I prepared to leave. I filled out a will knowing that the unthinkable could actually happen to me. During this time, Uncle Dennis and I talked a lot. His message to me was that I was not going as a soldier, rather I was going as a healer. He said, "The soldiers need you." That phrase hit me hard. I remembered that countless times during my two tours in Afghanistan. I would think to myself "the soldiers need you" when the times got tough which was frequent.
In February of 2011 Uncle Dennis told us all that he was battling liver cancer. He shocked us by telling us that he had returned in 1969 from Vietnam with the Hepatitis C Virus. This was surely the main causative agent of his cancer. He was near death by the time we all got to see him. I remember vaguely that Uncle Dennis had told me that he wanted to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery. Now we were all talking about when this might happen.
On May 31st, 2011 a great group of Dennis' friends as well as the Hayes Family arrived at Arlington for his ceremony. We all were led out to the columbarium (a group of buildings that stores the ashes in compartments). We gathered together around the urn filled with Uncle Dennis' ashes. It was surrounded by 7 members of the Honor Guard in impeccable uniforms. The army chaplain said a few words about Sergeant Dennis Albert Hayes and his service in Vietnam. The Honor Guard members were holding a large flag. They folded it into a triangle in a precise and deliberate fashion. It was passed down the line. Then, it was presented to Aunt Elizabeth. In the distance on a hilltop a group of soldiers rang out 3 shots. When it became quiet again, a soldier to our left played TAPS on his bugle. We all then walked over to the columbarium. The army chaplain led us in several prayers. Aunt Elizabeth then placed the urn into the compartment. We all walked past and paid our last respects. It was a simple but incredibly powerful ceremony.
Sergeant Dennis Hayes served one tour in Vietnam. This was more than enough. It was certainly life changing. He lamented most if not all of his time there. Nevertheless, he chose to be laid to rest in our nation's most hallowed ground. My Uncle Dennis served our nation. No matter what the circumstances of our service entails, there is a certain feeling that all veterans seem to have. We feel a certain pride knowing that we spent time wearing our nation's uniform. And, in the end our pride runs deep.
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