Looking back, I really had no idea what I was getting myself into when I joined the U.S. Air Force in May of 2000. I knew that my entire medical education would be paid for and that I would not have to worry about overwhelming student loans. I knew that my sense of duty to our country would be fulfilled. Other that that, the road was uncertain. 11 years later, I can now look back and see where the military took me.
Every so often someone asks me if I am happy that I joined the military or if I would do it again. These questions make me pause for a while. Why is that? Well, it is because I do not have a good answer! Maybe that answer will come in time, but for now I can only tell these folks what happened as a result of my decision to join the military. It is easy for people to see the medals and the achievements. Heck, all you have to do is look at my Department of Defense Form 214 (the old DD 214) to see exactly what my career entailed. But, those things do not tell the whole story. Not even close.
The untold story is one of disappointment and frustration. Reality is that I missed out on way too many weddings, a lot of graduations, and even several reunions. My friends and family enjoyed these events a great deal. But, my committment to the Air Force made it difficult or even impossible for me to be there. I cannot get those times back ever. That is disappointing to me. Being able to actually come to important events is just one reason that I am leaving the Air Force. I want to actually see my nieces and nephews graduate from high school. I want to go to some weddings. I would like to plan a family reunion. And, I want to be there when my sister gets her college degree!
A major area of frustration for me during my 11 years in the military has been with personal relationships. Most of my friends are married and have young children. I am happy for them. It is really great to see their kids grow up. It is fabulous to see their marriages flourish. And, it was a blast to vacation with all of my friends in 2009. We had 7 kids under the age of 5 under one roof for a week. Wow! Obviously, I mention this because I am single with no kids. This is not where I expected to be at the ripe age of 35 to say the least. It has been difficult to sustain relationships for me. A lot of this has to do with me and my shortcomings. But, I think any woman with a good head on her shoulders knows that the military lifestyle is really difficult. Few are willing and able to sign up for this. Most of my married military friends found their spouses before all the insanity of miltary service began. For me, it has not been hard to meet women. But, it sure has been hard to keep them!
I mention these trials and tribulations because they are not usually a topic of conversation. The sacrifices that military members make is usually thought of as long work days, time away from home overseas, putting one's life in danger, and sometimes making the ultimate sacrifice. All of those things are very real. But, there is much more to being in the military. When the next person asks me about whether or not to join the military, I will pause and simply say that it takes you down a different path.
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